Bipolarity.

Tuesdays wont be the same anymore with you. No more having dinner together, no more having someone accompanying me to drums. No more sharing your Psp. So many things that seems so unimportant and natural before suddenly hit me in the face. Its all gone now, and I can sense that its for real this time. Nothings ever gonna be the same again... Not Monday, not Wednesday, not Thursday not a single fucking day gonna be the same. Last week this time, we were better. Not perfect but better. Those meals that we used to have so often now seems so distant. I can barely even talked to you now. How i wished the past year we shared could remain still, like how I wished love alone was enough. Time and time again, its proven me otherwise. I've been such a fucking idiot dolt hole dumb ass, taking you for granted time and time again. Taking care of my ego more than even taking care of you perhaps. And its too late to try to make things right now. I had everything i could wished for but now, I only have myself. Reading your cards will always hurt, seeing our photos will also tear. That tench of ache will always be there, no matter how long its over between us. Forever was a promise that we both could not keep, I used to blame it on you only. But i know now thats not the case. I AM THE FUCKING CASE. This is gone and I cant see it. I don't know how to behave seeing you in school, i dont know how to talk to you, I dont know how to just be friends with you. But I wish I could, then at least I know you are still in my life, no matter how minimal it is. I have loved you, and still do. I don't know how am I gonna live it down now. But I guess I have to. I just hope you'll be at least better with this breakup, then at least its gonna make it all worth it. At least you have snoopy to help you through, I guess i'm never ever gonna see him again.

I wish we could get stuck on that cable car back then.

goodbye to you, I wished i could hear you call me benoppy again. I really do.